Our school year sure is cruising right along. In no time, the holidays will be here. It’s right around this mark in most school years that some students begin to surprise you. Not in the delightful way you may think.
I really love my current group of third graders. Some of them are the whole package. They love school. They have great grades. Their friend list is longer than mine. For some, though, the curriculum has begun to challenge them, and it shows. For others, they have burned a few too many bridges, and it shows. And still for a select few, well, life itself is really tough… and it shows.
By October and November, I have begun to notice some things that didn’t show up back in September. I seem to be “catching on” to the kid who lies all the time. In recent weeks, I have also been squelching the long bathroom visits of some of my girls. I am piecing together the families who “talk a good game”, but give zero support at home.
These examples are but a handful of “surprises” that most teachers have unearthed since the first weeks of school. Depending on the situation, I will either draw a firm boundary line, extend one, or maybe, move into a realm of acceptance, where I realize “this is going to be harder than what I first thought.”
This teaching gig is heavy. Relationships with all these little people are troublesome at times. The only direct correlation I could even make for these 9 year-olds is that the more stable and functional the family, the more stable and functional the student.
While that statement isn’t earth-shattering, I guess it helps me reason and explain why some kids act the way they do. The greatest truth is, some need more of me than I can give. They have gotten the collective attention, heart, & instruction of their teachers past and present. All of it, still, isn’t sufficient to make up for what is lacking at home.
A sample of my day’s lesson plans might include- rounding to the nearest hundred, classifying vertebrates, and identifying adjectives… but it’s too much to ask of a student when he hasn’t showered in days, he got himself on the bus, and he has moved elementary schools a few times since kindergarten. Throw in step-siblings, step-dads, incarceration, poverty, and profanity, and this kid has so many odds stacked against him.
It’s only Tuesday. It’s only November. It’s only grade 3.
Most days aren’t heavy, mind you. I am a seasoned teacher and a believer in Jesus. But sometimes, indeed, it’s more than I can bear. It’s the load of helplessness that weighs me down. On the occasional drive home, the tears freely fall- one part exhaustion, the other pity.
I can’t solve their home issues.
I can’t even tell them which words are the adjectives on Friday’s quiz.
On so many levels, these kids are failing. And besides easing their lives with free school meals, frequent visits to the nurse (that’s another blog for another day), and a few classroom incentives, this small percentage of students will simply do their best, which usually isn’t enough, as well.
If you have taught any length of time, you feel this. The middle and high school teachers know that these problems just magnify with age.
In the end, it’s so much effort day in and day out. Most of these disadvantaged kids are appreciative. But, our best efforts will still be inadequate as long as home is such a chaotic place to be raised. This is the teacher’s weight of helplessness.
Lord, bless the students who live steeped in chaos. Please help me to be a mentor to them. Make school a safe place. Give all of us teachers an extra dose of grace to extend. Amen.
