Be Still

I love Christmas cards. I display them for almost a month, and love to see faces of friends and their families...the more sparkles, the better.  In fact, I like to get them at the clearance sale for the next year- in addition to the 40(ish) I will order with our family photo on them.

I sent out four cards this year. Typically, I am on schedule with photos, and have my template picked out after a good hour of searching. Tim was surprised that I didn't send out the normal stack that I usually do, and when he asked about it- I simply stated, "Well, there is no rule that I must, and this year, it is one thing I really am choosing not to do."

On most years, this would be a fixing point for me, until they were signed and sealed (and delivered).  But time eluded me this year. We were busy, as are most people. I had to give myself a break. I kind of delighted in it, really.

Cards were something to say 'no' to, and through that one simple, objection, it felt a little something like freedom.  'No' doesn't come easily to me. And usually, I associate guilt with it.

If there is a plan to be made, or event to be attended, I am often in the mix.  During one event, I am already thinking about planning the next.  After a good month or two, I grow grouchy, restless, and unfulfilled, as well as unproductive.  My son doesn't even have after school activities, and the running around we do leaves me weary. Life can be a rat race on a hamster wheel.

We can almost take pride in how busy we are.  We also become detached, forgetting the purpose of all our participation. I have to choose differently.  No one else will stop the wheel, unless I do.

Last year, on my New Year's blog, I wrote about the word "sacred".  This year, I choose "still".   "Still" is not always a verb.  Rather- I see it as a mindset.  It protects my emotions, and gives me peace in a very purposeful way.

Still in the midst of a LOUD, boisterous household (my husband, Colby, and our new pup have naturally loud tendencies.). I look to incorporate more quiet playtime than the motoring background of our television.

Still in the midst of chaos.  Knowing that life happens, toddlers happen, mistakes happen, etc.... 2017 will not be exempt from the sometimes chaotic happenings that occur. I like 'still' rather than 'reactive' which comes much more naturally to me.

Still on the weekend.  Still during my summer.  Still after school, still during school. Yes- I will be moving, creating, doing, but my goal will be working for simplicity and peace.

Still in my time with God.  Not too easily derailed or distracted by technology, cleaning urges, or the like.... This may mean a switch in my devotional time.

Nope- "still" cannot always happen, but when I can ...


I will choose to "Be still and know that He is God." Psalm 46:10

Tossing the Wedding Bouquet

Today, I tossed my wedding bouquet.  Yes, in the garbage. I was in an "A.D.D. Cleaning Mood", as my husband so affectionately refers to it.

You have been there- washing a load of laundry, then looking at the full garbage can makes you empty it. That, in turn, leads you to the garage where you find the lopsided stack of shoes, that you decide to rearrange...when you return to the kitchen, you see your child's Halloween buckets (plural), and you place their contents into a ziplock, after which you take the buckets down to the storage shelves in the basement....and there, you eye the beat-up, dried-out, dusty, decade-old bunch of roses you carried down the aisle sitting atop a forgotten bookshelf.  Which led me to take the above picture before tossing them into the trash.  At that moment, I realized I never shut the washer lid, and the washing cycle never started, so I went full-circle back to the laundry room. Tell me you clean this way, too?!

I had to pause before throwing out the roses, though. It made me think of the covenant that is marriage. It is a subject dear to me.  My parents rocked it. I learned a lot from them. They are perfect in my eyes, and that set the standard for me almost ten years ago, as I was prepping for my own marriage.

But, a decade passes, and just like that bouquet, all of us can relate to becoming beat-up, dried-out, and dusty in our relationship with our spouse. Hey, mortgages, kids, jobs, can do a number. And then you realize, "My marriage isn't like my parents' at all." But I have since learned, that mine doesn't have to be. Yours doesn't have to be. And maybe, in your case, it is a good thing you aren't modeling the wedded bliss your parents lived out.

A friend posted this anniversary wish to her hubby on her Facebook wall some time ago reading, "9 years of marriage and I love you more each day! Even on the days I want to punch you in the face."

I loved her 'realness' in that moment... Because most of us do get to that point of frustration at times, and very humanly rely on emotion as a guide.  It doesn't always take spirited sparring to ding and dent at your partnership.  Without ignited arguments even, marriages can simply wilt and weather over time.  Again, just like the roses, some opt to toss their partner because life isn't fresh, easy, or nice to look at anymore.

Here is a thought--- almost* every marriage is worth saving.

Worth fighting for.

Worth the effort or forgiveness.

Worth the exchanging of your priorities for 'our' priorities.

Worth being there for your spouse- no matter what.

If committed love is between the both of you, and Christ is the Head of you, your covenant is not a contract.  You love because you choose to love. Every day.

Jesus showed us covenant love as he walked this Earth.  He provided that example in forgiveness, kindness, patience, and a multitude of other qualities.  He was love in action.

The Holy Spirit is also our guide in day to day interaction with your spouse. Need peace in your home? Pray.  Need to be patient with your husband? Pray.  The spirit gives freely when you ask and are willing to receive.  As Galatians says, "And those who belong to Christ Jesus have put to death their human nature with all its passions and desires. The Spirit has given us life; he must also control our lives." (5:24-25)

Later on today, I began to ponder the symbolism in the wedding bouquet, and I came up with this notion: new life can come out of death.... Those flowers are long dead and gone, and actually on their way to a landfill.   But, I am going to buy my husband a new bouquet.... Just the $7.99 variety from the grocery store.


Why? It would be a novel act of love that I have never expressed before. Because our life isn't always fresh, easy, or nice to look at.  They are a perfect reminder for me to keep watering, keep encouraging, keep praying for the covenant marriage that has been entrusted to me.









*With the exception of abusive circumstances.

Summer's Best Moment

Summers are amazing, especially if you are a teacher.  So amazing that I wish for eternal summer. I become this happy-go-lucky, sun-loving, spontaneous creature with no schedule.  Since my career in the classroom thrives and runs on down-to-the-minute schedules and switches, that is probably the biggest freedom for me.


The picnics, the sprinklers, the ice cream.  I relish every moment with my toddler son. It is an amazing blessing to be SAHM for a couple months. In the mornings, we sit in the recliner, he sips milk, and I sip coffee.  We swim, go to playgrounds, eat on the porch, nap, have play dates, tantrum from time to time, etc...  So, in all of this blissful togetherness, about 2 weeks ago, I found myself craving some mommy time. ALONE. I didn't even need to be social, I just wanted zero noise, zero entertainment, zero toddler squabbles, zero responsibility.  We were in the car on the way to swim for a couple hours.

I was driving and daydreaming about this- pondering--"What would I do with 2 free hours?" Shop? Walk? Sleep?

Answer D- all of the above.

Colby and I arrived to our little beach in our lake community, and I was thinking about even texting my hubby to see if this daydream of solidarity could become a reality once he got home from work.

Well, one sandcastle led to another, and we swam, and watched some boats go by. An hour into our day out, we sat on the blanket for some snacks.  And he said it. It was all Colby needed to say to change my perspective on that early afternoon. Eight words.


"Mommy, I want to sit on your lap."



It was clarity. It was refreshing.  He had a whole blanket & a whole beach to choose from, but my lap was the only place for him.  And if you read my New Year's post, it was incredibly sacred for I know "mommy' s lap days" are numbered, and in his small request, God placed a profound gratefulness within me.  Mommy time is important- no doubt.  But, this one moment was worth 100 mommy alone moments.

I want to remember this moment in time forever and I even captured it to share with you via Facebook.  It reminds me that it is all about my perspective, and how I choose to perceive life unfolding.  On that beach blanket, it was like God whispering, "Don't miss this, Mandi.  Don't trade this for anything."  God planted a seed of "savor the now", because the future is coming---more quickly than I'll ever know.

Just like mommy's lap days, summer days are numbered as well. Before we know it, our lives will be back to school, the sitter, early mornings, quick evenings, rushed dinners, and bedtimes.

My wish is that you, friend, find a few sacred moments to thank God for as well. Life comes at us and it is easy to wish ourselves out of the busy or mundane, the fun or frazzled. I wish you a wonder-filled rest of summer.

(P.s.- Don't worry. I got out for a walk with gal pals later that week.  That was sacred, too!)

What's Your QOL?

Quality of life.  

It's a term that is usually reserved for the close to death and dying.    In both of our families, my husband and I lost our uncles within the past 2 months. Both of them were our fathers' older brothers.  Both had cancer.  Both suffered.  In reflection, I find it odd that we mostly use the above term when dealing in desperate, end-of-life circumstances.  Only until we are knocking at death's door do we consider what is 'best', and how to keep our loved one comfortable....giving them the quality they deserve in the little last bit of their days here on Earth.

In recent weeks, I have found myself evaluating my own "quality of life" (QOL) at age 34, and here is what I have found.

I talk too much.
I need to give up processed foods.
I can be critical of others.
My schedule is too hectic.
I should pray more.
My daily encounters with my husband are few, and I therefore need to nag less.
My body needs exercise, and just isn't getting it.


There are more things that I can write about, but I will sum it up there.  

While analyzing all of this, it was key for me to remember we all live in seasons, and because of my current one (working mother of a toddler, wife to a commuting college student- who also happened to be disabled due to ankle surgery for 8 weeks), some of my above circumstances are naturally going to happen to anyone living in them. (It's been a bit of a slump season as of late.)

My point being- it is good to evaluate yourself.  It is good to be honest, and to know what your current QOL is.  It is very good to understand the notion of seasons- that your current state of affairs will not last... Not unless you want it to.

We must be ON GUARD to make sure we don't stay in any one season for too long.  As my son grows to independence, as Tim finishes school, as 34 turns to 35, life will change, and if I stay true to my observations, my QOL will improve.  


However, if I do nothing about my own little self-eval, I will find myself in my mid-50's with the same substandard, dilapidated observations, only worse off.  By then, my "season" at age 34 will have become a lifetime of decreasing QOL.  I think we all know that even with the best of intentions, seasons can turn into months, which become years, then decades.

The following scripture verses are what I will arm myself with as this season comes and goes.  Each is there to help me in my specific area of need. When I abide in His words, no weapon formed against me shall stand. (Isaiah 54:17)  If I am truly intentional about my very best life, they will become the sustenance of my days.

I talk too much.
Ecclesiates 5:2
Do not be quick with your mouth,
    do not be hasty in your heart
    to utter anything before God.
God is in heaven
    and you are on earth,
    so let your words be few.

I need to give up processed food.
1 Corinthians 3:16-17
Do you not know that you are a temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you? If any man destroys the temple of God, God will destroy him, for the temple of God is holy, and that is what you are.

I can be critical of others.
James 2:13
There will be no mercy for those who have not shown mercy to others. But if you have been merciful, God will be merciful when he judges you.

My schedule is too hectic.
Romans 12:2
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

I should pray more.
Colossians 4:2
Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.

My daily encounters with my husband are few, and therefore, I need to nag less.
Proverbs 21:9
Better to live on a corner of a roof than to share a home with a quarreling woman.


My body needs exercise, and just isn't getting it.
See 1 Corinthians 3:16-17, again!


I hope this post (although lengthy) might make you also thoughtful of your current QOL.  And maybe there are reasons to explain many of your observations. Maybe this season has been rough.  Might I also strongly encourage you to find very specific verses to aid you in giving yourself strength to endure, and to improve.  These are to write on your heart and mind as you seek to better your life.  


Thankfully, my yesterdays and todays do not have to become my tomorrows. Yours don't either. God is good. God is faithful.  His word shows us a high QOL is worth pursuing... Way before your last days are here.

Bird Drama

Last night, upon pulling into the driveway, I tapped the garage door opener, and much to my surprise, a robin from a nearby shrub, flew right into my garage.  I fretted a bit, then decided to keep the door open for her to find her way out.  After about 10 minutes of her fretting as well, she calmed down and hopped her way out via the cement floor. Crisis avoided.

I began to think about this experience and how often we must appear to God as that little robin appeared to me.  I was a bit confused why after flying several laps (and me chasing her with a fishing net) she didn't just get out the way she came? The garage opening is like 20x12!  

I could plainly see the way she needed to go, but in a panic, she so desperately could not.  Not unlike that bird, we humans tend to react in panic mode when caught in unfortunate circumstances.  It is only when we stop searching for our own solution that God can show us the way He planned all along.  And also like my feathered friend, we have the potential to really injure ourselves when we take matters into our own hands.  Emotions are not meant to compass us.

I have read before that God's vantage point of our lives is like that of someone in a skyscraper watching a parade pass on the street below.  He is able to see the start and the distant finish.  We are marching, perhaps with little direction or in much confusion... Until we readjust our focus to Him above rather than the shuffle happening around us.  That shuffle can come in the form of minor adversity or major tragedy.

Isn't it a peaceful notion, though, that we are guaranteed victory? When situations and stress presses us from all sides, our Savior is standing alongside and nudging, "I have all power.  Call on me. I will not fail you."  

My plans are not your plans, and my thoughts are not your thoughts, declares the Lord. (Isaiah 55:8)

God proves his faithfulness time and time again. We forget this.  We are so human, so fragile, and so needy.  In any time of crisis, let us lean into the One who knows and sees it all from beginning to end.  God will provide you a solution.  It may take 10 years or 10 minutes.  At any rate, stop flying laps and allow yourself to be carried.

Just Get The TP and Get Out

(~41 bottles? Graffiti, much?)

I try, I really do.  The whole less-is-more thing is worth living by.  With so much readily available to us, it is next to impossible to resist getting just a few more _______________(light bulbs on clearance, gift bags for half off, BOGO dish soap, etc...).  

We Americans are plagued with "Wal-Martitis".  You know what I mean, right?  Well, it is when you walk into the store for toilet paper and leave with produce, shampoo, candles, and dog treats.  I know, because I do it. Often.  This plethora of plenty doesn't just exist at Sam Walton's store, but any place that lures you into the display at the end cap of an aisle in red-ticketed glory.

I only got to thinking about this tonight as I was perusing Pinterest for organization ideas.  My mouth almost fell off my face when I saw the disgusting overflow (however, organized) of some of the behind the closet ideas.  Why do we do this to ourselves?  I just wonder if we are the only nation that buys way too much, then buy more merchandise to store it neatly...and then photograph it for everyone else to try? It truly boggles me.  Don't get me wrong.  I love a pretty roll of wrapping paper....even 2 or 3 rolls.  But, is it just me or is it just a bit superfluous to own, say 19 rolls?

Matthew 6:19-21 states, "Don’t hoard treasure down here where it gets eaten by moths and corroded by rust or—worse!—stolen by burglars. Stockpile treasure in heaven, where it’s safe from moth and rust and burglars. It’s obvious, isn’t it? The place where your treasure is, is the place you will most want to be, and end up being."

Look, I love a bargain just as much as the next girl, but if my joy resonates in only that merchandise, and is not found in a life after God, something is off...especially when we are neatly trying to stockpile the 30-40 scarves we own, but couldn't care to utter an earnest prayer for a struggling friend or give a nickel to a humane cause.  

Christ loves us all the same, whether our pantries are bare or overflowing.  The only problem I can personally see is when we become servant to that pantry or that closet or that really neatly rearranged sock drawer.  And if the purpose to rearrange our stockpile is to make room for more, then we must question, "If not for God's purposes, then whose?"  

The ridiculousness of the situation is that when we are lying in our cemetery plot, it will not matter what you owned....but rather what owned you.  Is it jewelry? Bags? Decor? Technology? 

Lay down these treasures and put no more significance in them.  Stuff won't further your life, nor your faith.  Less is more.

Reflections... Not Resolutions

I am not a 'resolutions' kind of gal.  I have tried them, and then have forgotten them by January 20th.  Lose 15 pounds?  Sounds great.  Give more to charities... That is noble.  But, instead, I do this thing with a lot of my passwords on email, online accounts, etc..., where I choose a 'word of the year', if you will, to live by.

One year, I changed my password to journey2013.  I was pregnant, and in for major life changes.  Last year, it was heal2015.  My mom was in need of healing, and my own body was also in need of remedy from some autoimmune stuff.  By changing my computer passwords, I intentionally type daily or a few times daily the very idea that I need to focus on, or pray for.  It is an automatic reminder to remain steadfast in my faith on whatever is happening in my life.

As I reflect for my 2016 "word".... Only one comes to mind.



Sacred.   

What a sentimental, beautiful idea, right? There is not much room for sanctity in our world today.  All things held dear are either for "old souls" or so completely exploited by our society/ media that they lose their luster.  There have been literally hundreds of times that I think of snapping a photo of something that has happened here at home to immediately upload onto Facebook.  But the reality is, it makes it a little less sacred to me that way.  I decide to keep it for myself and put in an album (although, those snapshots tend to hang around way too long on my iPad).  

Sacred.  What is that to me, exactly? For sure, my little immediate family here on Hastings Road.  My thoughts, and prayers, and songs in the car.  My memories in-the-making with nephews and a niece.  My parents.  My weekends.  Sipping coffee.  Walks.  Making cheesecakes.  Lunch with the girls.  My faith and my actions.  Sacred doesn't mean grand or expensive... It just has to be worthwhile.

For 2016, the plan is to keep sacred things sacred... Eggs and bacon for a Saturday brunch may not sound sentimentally heavy, but I think I will tuck those moments into my heart and hold them a bit closer this year.  Let's face it.  Life is busy and complicated.  My marriage looks forward to and relies on moments of sincerity and peace.  I also know my baby boy's growth depends on sacred moments at the beach or park or playing in the snow or reading on my lap.  Sanctity is the stuff of life.  "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:7

I hope I can encourage you to think of a new word to dwell upon this new year.  Make it a password or something you must see or write every day.  It will make an impression.  It will prompt prayer and intentions, and eventually, results.

"Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies." Philippians 4:8