Hey, family in Christ! Have you mastered your tongue? Me neither.
It’s that one tool that lets us all eloquently or not-so-eloquently convey emotions, cheer for others, react to spiders, and retell stories of our past. We find it useful in most circumstances. And while some of us “hold our tongue” better than others, we likely have all used it as we shouldn’t.
The topic of our words is covered very thoroughly in the book of James. One favorite passage of mine is James 3:3-12:
"We humans are able to tame and have tamed all other creatures—wild animals and birds, reptiles and fish. But no one has ever been able to tame the tongue. It is evil and uncontrollable, full of deadly poison. We use it to give thanks to our Lord and Father and also to curse other people, who are created in the likeness of God. Words of thanksgiving and cursing pour out from the same mouth. My friends, this should not happen! No spring of water pours out sweet water and bitter water from the same opening. A fig tree, my friends, cannot bear olives; a grapevine cannot bear figs, nor can a salty spring produce sweet water."
That's a heart-convicting passage for sure. Your tongue may be in the clear with swearing. However, this tongue of yours and mine doesn't have to be saying the worst of curse words to do its damage. The words we say and HOW we say them matter. The messiness of sarcasm comes to mind when I read these verses.
It's the witty, but stinging style that some use to humorously wound another. We have all likely felt the bite of sarcastic remarks of someone in our life, as well as dished a few ourselves. Sarcasm is salty.
It's a problem if you call yourself a Christ-follower.
When you recall a few random snide comments in your past, does the sear of those words spoken remain many years later?
Could it really be that sarcasm is 1 part truth, 1 part bitterness, and 1 part humor all rolled into one? I think so. It could be said the one speaking fluently in sarcasm is operating with prideful or superior feelings, instead of compassion or empathy. At its absolute core, sarcasm equates to criticism.
It’s a hardened heart that uses this type of snark. It’s like a spreading frost. If one person in the household speaks in this venomous manner often, the rest can soon be affected. Venom responds with venom.
Growing up, my parents did not use this kind of humor in our home. For that, I am thankful. I was not “trained” to respond in jest or zingers. It always surprises me when it’s such a natural response in others. It’s the wise parents who refrain from this style of conversation—- refrain from equipping their children to speak in the same tones.
Instead, we are instructed to let our words be gifts to others.
Ephesians 4:29 states, “Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed, so that what you say will do good to those who hear you.” If we are to love others well, the best thing we could be is genuine.
Just like most things in a maturing faith walk, it takes first, awakening and then, intentionality.
How beautiful are the the following verses to put into action! I hope they are an encouragement to you in your communication with your family, friends, and co-workers. May you find yourself to be a “spring of sweet water” always!
“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience". Colossians 3:12
“Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind". 1 Peter 3:8
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you". Ephesians 4:32
Photo by Intricate Explorer on Unsplash
