And in Other News, Josh Duggar...

Hmmm... The Duggars, specifically Josh, have had quite a year.  I have to say, his name was not one I expected to hear on the Ashley Madison affair website, but I was not surprised.  As we have learned, he is a very broken individual.

But, this post isn't for Josh.  It is for all the Josh's and Anna's out there who are reeling through infidelity and finding little solace anywhere. I found myself praying for Anna as I was driving the other day.  (By the way, I HAVE to get a better system for prayer.  The car is the only time thoughts freely move about in my head-  another blog topic, I suppose.) Anyway, I asked God to give her wisdom for her actions and her words.  I prayed for the future of her babies.

It just struck me tonight how many other husbands and wives are living her reality though.  Just because she married into '19 Kids and Counting' and has her personal life blasted through the media doesn't mean she is the ONLY one to ever go through trust issues in marriage.  Major trust issues.  For instance,  if they stay a couple, will he ever be able to have a computer, smart phone, etc?  Can she ever fully know where he is when he is gone?  What will she tell the kids about their dad?   Where will he sleep? (Seriously.)

Even in a home where God is loved and praised, affairs can and in fact, do happen. It is the "now what?" moment that is so crucial.  I don't know what I would do if I were Anna, or anyone else dealing with a faithless, sick husband.  I do know there can be healing, even forgiveness.  It might mean a lifetime of forgiving, which many would see as a waste.

So tonight, tomorrow, whenever, please pray for these hurting spouses with me.  There is so much at stake, with or without children involved.  When a vow to love "in good times and bad" is tested---really tested, it is beyond difficult for us mere humans to navigate.

Dear Lord- 
 Thank you for the gift of marriage.  It was your idea, after all.  Please take hold of those hurting couples tonight.  I pray your healing and grace to overcome the situations and for their desires to be purely about Your purposes.  I pray also for our fallen world, which is so polluted by pornography and the like.  Draw us close to you, and make us see what is truly worthy of our time.

I pray that the marriages of my generation can be a revival of sorts.  I hope that we would see marriage for life. Seeing what some of our parents have been through in divorce, I pray that we could make better daily choices for ourselves, our kids, and our world.  I think about young couples my age and pray that the bond strengthens as You become central in the home.  You are Redeemer and Healer.

Amen.

Wise Words

Our mouths. They have a tendency to do one of 2 things: uplift or tear down.  


In a very literal sense, just as a house stands on a foundation, so do our lives/emotional well-being/mental fortitude.  The foundation is usually laid by parents and family who raised us.  If you are blessed to have had strong, positive role models as a child, your foundation is a firm one.  It is often in later years we find that what others say can chip and chisel away at whatever foundation was there to begin with.

This is where we all falter at times.  Words that depart from your lips can permeate others incredibly deeply whether you realize it or not.  Just one ill-timed, or rudely stated phrase can begin a crumbling of sorts.  For me? I can start to dish out brash or snide comments when I am hungry, angry, PMSing, etc...  The brunt of it goes to my husband.  But just because I am lacking sleep or a sandwich doesn't give me an 'automatic' reason or entitlement to be nasty.  James 3:3-5 states,"A bit in the mouth of a horse controls the whole horse. A small rudder on a huge ship in the hands of a skilled captain sets a course in the face of the strongest winds. A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything—or destroy it!"

Yikes!!! Soooooooo much potential rides on that one very small muscle in your mouth.  Just err on the side of potential for good not harm.  I love going to the Runner's Club races for my elementary school.  At the high school track, the kids run with their age group, and a winner is determined after 4 laps... My observation is that when the kids are nearest the cheering crowd, they run harder, and even smile or give a 'thumbs-up'.  And yep, you guessed it. The further they are from the bleachers of cheering friends and family, the harder the race is.  It is all about words- everyone needs a cheerleader or two or three.

Only one person on Earth ever had His tongue perfectly controlled.  So the majority of us need this reminder every now and again: "It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it,..." (James 3:5-6). 

Before you say it, ask yourself if you are building onto someone's foundation or tearing it down?  EVEN if what you say is true, is it necessary? Kind? If not, swallow your words.  Once you get into the practice of swallowing those unnecessary, unkind words, it does get easier.  On the flip side, you might discover that speaking life into others is so much more worthwhile....because it is.


One last thought from James 3:7-10

"This is scary: You can tame a tiger, but you can’t tame a tongue—it’s never been done. The tongue runs wild, a wanton killer. With our tongues we bless God our Father; with the same tongues we curse the very men and women he made in his image. Curses and blessings out of the same mouth!  My friends, this should not happen."

The Cheese Shaker

A few weeks ago, a dear friend and I went to lunch at a local Italian restaurant for lunch.  Amongst the giggles and story-telling our meals came out, and both happened to be the zucchini/vegetable pasta with marinara.  I began to sprinkle the cheese from the shaker, explaining that it may be a while, before she gets her turn with the shaker. I like cheese. A lot of it.  Then, she picked it up and in her witty way said, "Why waste your time sprinkling when you could just pour?"  She then untwisted the lid of the jar, and dumped a small mound of cheese onto her pasta.  I was seriously impressed.  We laughed and I decided that never again would I spend two eternal minutes sprinkling, when I realized that I could just dump half the jar!  I wanted a lot of Parmesan, and all I was doing was shaking a minimal amount- for quite some time.  My mission was a mound, not a sprinkle!

I didn't think of it again until tonight, but that instance is so very appropriate when it comes to many fronts in life.  When our intentions are there, why do we dilly-dally and put them off or in the back burner? Let me explain...

Our family (ladies only) does a once- a-month get together, which we have called "Winey Family."  At the end of each gathering, we pull out calendars and cell phones to schedule our next date.  Why? We want to be intentional with our time together.  It is oh so easy to intend on meeting up, but another thing entirely to actually follow through.  "Why sprinkle when you could just pour?"  Relationships don't deepen or endure when they are based on intentions only.  I promise that.

My hubby has wanted for years to go back for his doctorate degree to one day teach college.  You know what?  He is taking classes to see that dream made into reality.  Last fall he began a rigorous schedule, which is causing sacrifice now, but is accomplishing what he always set out to do. In the figurative sense, he has taken the lid off the shaker, and someday- his intentions will be realized.

As for me, my most recent challenge has been health and eating, and bettering my body to last into old age.  It is not always easy, nor fun... And I mess up often.  I would rather forget the zucchini pasta and eat regular old linguini with a bunch of Alfredo sauce.  The thing is, though, I want to actualize my goals instead of allowing them to be fleeting thoughts.  

For what are we without goals? God has given you a drive, a want, or a purpose for good.  You are so capable and with Him you cannot fail (Phil. 4:13).  Not talking about winning the lottery or owning a Porsche, here... I am referring to hitting your target for the good of all.  Be a blessing to somebody who needs one.  Be a responsible steward of your body, your Earth.  Be an awesome wife.  Whatever it is, be insistent. Why sprinkle when you could just pour?

Forget seize the day.  

 Seize. This. Life.