You won’t find any spirituality in this post. I am a bit more Scrooge-like on this topic than I would like to admit. But, I have this overwhelming urge to relate to you, almost as a PSA, my take on The Elf on the Shelf. I have written before about 3rd grade being the cusp year, of when some kids start to disbelieve the things they never questioned. But these elves, man, do they ever muddy the waters. You could say I am anti-Elf… or at least what it has become.
Forgive me. Some of you deeply love yours.
In 2019, when our son was in kindergarten. He came home often in the month of December that year talking about so & so’s Elf, asking why he doesn’t have one, because so many kids did.
The question came in previous years, but I played it off easily, and now, it seemed the only thing to do was to follow suit or gently deflate this 6-year-old’s belief system. So, we caved.
‘Jingles’ came that year around December 20th, and remained only until Christmas. She is still not my favorite tradition, and she is quite boring. She moves, and maybe gives a small token gift only once during the holidays. I am guilty of searching for cutesy ideas and spots for Jingles, but I will say, she has never pooped chocolate chips in our toilet, nor written in flour on the countertop. I. Just. Can’t.
Eek! Let me tell you, though, as an elementary teacher, I hear plenty of what Jingles’ relatives are up to, and, it seems so EXTRA… if you enjoy this tradition immensely, don’t read on. I am giving you my perspective as teacher, in what is a more recent-times classroom phenomenon.
Perhaps, because we like to see the antics of these elves, or maybe because the Elf is so darn Pinterest-y, some parents dedicate much effort and cash to making December all about it. (Seriously, December no longer has 1 holiday, but rather, 25 consecutive daily holidays. And some of you start the day after Thanksgiving!!)
Yes, parents, you do you… no judgement, here. But, I may roll my eyes.
From December 1- Christmas break, the start of our school days is a collision course of Elf stories, for those who have one.
What you likely haven’t considered, is that if your kiddo is one who gets gifted on the daily, he runs immediately into school to tell us all about it. Like 15 times.
Yes, this goes with the territory of the job, I suppose, but it’s just uncomfortable to watch, at least in upper elementary. For the “have-nots” who didn’t have breakfast and are probably wearing yesterday’s clothes, simply could not fathom what these elves must be like, and why they don’t show up at their house. For others in 3rd, the magic was gone just a little while ago, and “The Elf is fake” remains their only defense mechanism.
The hardest part, is when kids who have “extra generous elves”, bring in the items they were gifted that morning. Some bring in chapstick, new pens, stickers, body spray, barrettes, and much more of the like. It’s really an unwarranted “Show and Tell.” It makes all this Elf business a bit more cringy (for me), and a little more confusing (for the other kids). It’s tricky to navigate.
So, if there’s any word of caution I could give parents….just keep the gifts from the Elf at home, or perhaps, just gift on the weekends! Before you launch into over-the-top Elf mode, slightly consider the fall-out elsewhere. I imagine as well that a parade of daily gifts might numb kids a bit to the special ones reserved for Christmas Day. Your wallet, your kids, your choice, of course.
I suppose in my own parenting, I am sufficed with all the make-believe there already is. Santa surely gets enough air time, and I don’t have it in me to “puff” my own children with any more beliefs that I consider to be thin and fragile, even if just for the fun.
Besides, the REAL story of a stable in Bethlehem deserves much of the December spotlight that these pesky elves are getting instead.
I’m not mad, just annoyed— and my eye is twitching slightly as I write.
Can’t wait for December.🙃
