I am about 3 months into my maternity leave (with about 3 months to go), and this time off, this precious pause in life, has made me quite contemplative. Maybe I have nothing new to say that you haven't already heard or thought yourself before, but once more I must write down these thoughts. This time in my life is beautiful.
I am beyond blessed to get the maternity leave that I am taking. We are making financial sacrifices for it, but the payoff on the homefront is OH SO grand. The moments can be mundane, messy, loud, and chaotic, but they are ours. I love waking up with my babies and being home. Some days, it is pajamas til 4 pm...or just pajamas ALL day for that matter. My counters have never been so cluttered, my washing machine has never seen so much laundry, but my heart soars with gratefulness, joy, and delight.
Our baby, Hope, has just turned 3 months old. I have gotten the hang of this mothering-of-two-kids thing. Our son, Colby, has me at a moment's notice for anything and everything. I wish all kids could have that, at least for a time with their moms. In the ebb and flow of most of our days, we share a laugh, a lunch, and some imaginative play. It is not always perfection, but it doesn't have to be... It is just the fact that I am here. These are special times.
I was trying to put my feelings into words about the addition of Hope, and all I can say is that she makes our house feel more like home. Her birth story was incredible, and almost euphoric (as I had an epidural this time). I went from busy, overwhelmed, overly pregnant teacher to her mom, overnight-literally. She came into the world, and it's like I let out a sigh of relief and then automatically settled in to our nest to become mother hen extraordinaire. Anything outside of mothering I have been able to separate at an arm's length away.
The fact that Christmas is now falling on my watch during this time off makes it all the more joyful. Colby had his preschool Christmas program today, and all I could do was take it all in with all my heart. For our lives will never be right here in this spot again.
A sweet, four-year-old boy with sleep still all over his face at 7:30 am walking into our bedroom to say, "Where's the little lady?"
Strolling down our road in autumn with a newly born, black-haired baby girl.
Making scrambled eggs with my son.
Breastfeeding in a peach-colored nursery.
A baby girl kicking her legs wildly in a small tub of bubbles
All of these things, I must document, as if engraving on my mind for future remembrance. I know Hope will be in preschool in a blink of an eye, and Colby will be too big for my lap. I long for today to stay. Even if just a little while longer.
Just taking it all in- because in time, my memory will grow fuzzy, and my everyday will be scheduled out for me. The world will call us to join in at school, at sports, at events, at everything. But right now, the world can wait.
And for parting thoughts---I know this physical part of life will end for me some day. We are all spiritual beings living out a physical journey for now. Thanks be to God for providing me with these really magical, wonderfully sweet experiences in my journey.