Summers are amazing, especially if you are a teacher. So amazing that I wish for eternal summer. I become this happy-go-lucky, sun-loving, spontaneous creature with no schedule. Since my career in the classroom thrives and runs on down-to-the-minute schedules and switches, that is probably the biggest freedom for me.
The picnics, the sprinklers, the ice cream. I relish every moment with my toddler son. It is an amazing blessing to be SAHM for a couple months. In the mornings, we sit in the recliner, he sips milk, and I sip coffee. We swim, go to playgrounds, eat on the porch, nap, have play dates, tantrum from time to time, etc... So, in all of this blissful togetherness, about 2 weeks ago, I found myself craving some mommy time. ALONE. I didn't even need to be social, I just wanted zero noise, zero entertainment, zero toddler squabbles, zero responsibility. We were in the car on the way to swim for a couple hours.
I was driving and daydreaming about this- pondering--"What would I do with 2 free hours?" Shop? Walk? Sleep?
Answer D- all of the above.
Colby and I arrived to our little beach in our lake community, and I was thinking about even texting my hubby to see if this daydream of solidarity could become a reality once he got home from work.
Well, one sandcastle led to another, and we swam, and watched some boats go by. An hour into our day out, we sat on the blanket for some snacks. And he said it. It was all Colby needed to say to change my perspective on that early afternoon. Eight words.
"Mommy, I want to sit on your lap."
It was clarity. It was refreshing. He had a whole blanket & a whole beach to choose from, but my lap was the only place for him. And if you read my New Year's post, it was incredibly sacred for I know "mommy' s lap days" are numbered, and in his small request, God placed a profound gratefulness within me. Mommy time is important- no doubt. But, this one moment was worth 100 mommy alone moments.
I want to remember this moment in time forever and I even captured it to share with you via Facebook. It reminds me that it is all about my perspective, and how I choose to perceive life unfolding. On that beach blanket, it was like God whispering, "Don't miss this, Mandi. Don't trade this for anything." God planted a seed of "savor the now", because the future is coming---more quickly than I'll ever know.
Just like mommy's lap days, summer days are numbered as well. Before we know it, our lives will be back to school, the sitter, early mornings, quick evenings, rushed dinners, and bedtimes.
My wish is that you, friend, find a few sacred moments to thank God for as well. Life comes at us and it is easy to wish ourselves out of the busy or mundane, the fun or frazzled. I wish you a wonder-filled rest of summer.
(P.s.- Don't worry. I got out for a walk with gal pals later that week. That was sacred, too!)
Quality of life.
It's a term that is usually reserved for the close to death and dying. In both of our families, my husband and I lost our uncles within the past 2 months. Both of them were our fathers' older brothers. Both had cancer. Both suffered. In reflection, I find it odd that we mostly use the above term when dealing in desperate, end-of-life circumstances. Only until we are knocking at death's door do we consider what is 'best', and how to keep our loved one comfortable....giving them the quality they deserve in the little last bit of their days here on Earth.
In recent weeks, I have found myself evaluating my own "quality of life" (QOL) at age 34, and here is what I have found.
I talk too much.
I need to give up processed foods.
I can be critical of others.
My schedule is too hectic.
I should pray more.
My daily encounters with my husband are few, and I therefore need to nag less.
My body needs exercise, and just isn't getting it.
There are more things that I can write about, but I will sum it up there.
While analyzing all of this, it was key for me to remember we all live in seasons, and because of my current one (working mother of a toddler, wife to a commuting college student- who also happened to be disabled due to ankle surgery for 8 weeks), some of my above circumstances are naturally going to happen to anyone living in them. (It's been a bit of a slump season as of late.)
My point being- it is good to evaluate yourself. It is good to be honest, and to know what your current QOL is. It is very good to understand the notion of seasons- that your current state of affairs will not last... Not unless you want it to.
We must be ON GUARD to make sure we don't stay in any one season for too long. As my son grows to independence, as Tim finishes school, as 34 turns to 35, life will change, and if I stay true to my observations, my QOL will improve.
However, if I do nothing about my own little self-eval, I will find myself in my mid-50's with the same substandard, dilapidated observations, only worse off. By then, my "season" at age 34 will have become a lifetime of decreasing QOL. I think we all know that even with the best of intentions, seasons can turn into months, which become years, then decades.
The following scripture verses are what I will arm myself with as this season comes and goes. Each is there to help me in my specific area of need. When I abide in His words, no weapon formed against me shall stand. (Isaiah 54:17) If I am truly intentional about my very best life, they will become the sustenance of my days.
I talk too much.
Ecclesiates 5:2
Do not be quick with your mouth,
do not be hasty in your heart
to utter anything before God.
God is in heaven
and you are on earth,
so let your words be few.
I need to give up processed food.
1 Corinthians 3:16-17
Do you not know that you are a temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you? If any man destroys the temple of God, God will destroy him, for the temple of God is holy, and that is what you are.
I can be critical of others.
James 2:13
There will be no mercy for those who have not shown mercy to others. But if you have been merciful, God will be merciful when he judges you.
My schedule is too hectic.
Romans 12:2
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
I should pray more.
Colossians 4:2
Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.
My daily encounters with my husband are few, and therefore, I need to nag less.
Proverbs 21:9
Better to live on a corner of a roof than to share a home with a quarreling woman.
My body needs exercise, and just isn't getting it.
See 1 Corinthians 3:16-17, again!
I hope this post (although lengthy) might make you also thoughtful of your current QOL. And maybe there are reasons to explain many of your observations. Maybe this season has been rough. Might I also strongly encourage you to find very specific verses to aid you in giving yourself strength to endure, and to improve. These are to write on your heart and mind as you seek to better your life.
Thankfully, my yesterdays and todays do not have to become my tomorrows. Yours don't either. God is good. God is faithful. His word shows us a high QOL is worth pursuing... Way before your last days are here.
Last night, upon pulling into the driveway, I tapped the garage door opener, and much to my surprise, a robin from a nearby shrub, flew right into my garage. I fretted a bit, then decided to keep the door open for her to find her way out. After about 10 minutes of her fretting as well, she calmed down and hopped her way out via the cement floor. Crisis avoided.
I began to think about this experience and how often we must appear to God as that little robin appeared to me. I was a bit confused why after flying several laps (and me chasing her with a fishing net) she didn't just get out the way she came? The garage opening is like 20x12!
I could plainly see the way she needed to go, but in a panic, she so desperately could not. Not unlike that bird, we humans tend to react in panic mode when caught in unfortunate circumstances. It is only when we stop searching for our own solution that God can show us the way He planned all along. And also like my feathered friend, we have the potential to really injure ourselves when we take matters into our own hands. Emotions are not meant to compass us.
I have read before that God's vantage point of our lives is like that of someone in a skyscraper watching a parade pass on the street below. He is able to see the start and the distant finish. We are marching, perhaps with little direction or in much confusion... Until we readjust our focus to Him above rather than the shuffle happening around us. That shuffle can come in the form of minor adversity or major tragedy.
Isn't it a peaceful notion, though, that we are guaranteed victory? When situations and stress presses us from all sides, our Savior is standing alongside and nudging, "I have all power. Call on me. I will not fail you."
My plans are not your plans, and my thoughts are not your thoughts, declares the Lord. (Isaiah 55:8)
God proves his faithfulness time and time again. We forget this. We are so human, so fragile, and so needy. In any time of crisis, let us lean into the One who knows and sees it all from beginning to end. God will provide you a solution. It may take 10 years or 10 minutes. At any rate, stop flying laps and allow yourself to be carried.
